They say we can have it all, but at what cost?
As women, we juggle a lot: family, work, friendships, and the countless spoken and unspoken expectations that follow us everywhere. We face impossible standards for success, beauty, emotional labor, and more. On top of that, we carry the weight of the labels, titles, and roles others have placed on us.
And the world hasn’t made our journey any easier. We’re constantly wading through a sea of messaging that tells us:
“You’re doing it all wrong.”
“You need this.”
“Here are the top 10 fixes for the latest insecurity you didn’t even know you had.”
Over time, these external forces shape the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of. And these are the stories that define what success looks like to us – whether it’s a career milestone, maintaining “perfect” relationships, hitting a number on the scale, or filling every hour on our calendars.
But have we limited our true potential by leaning so heavily on these external forces? Do we even remember what we want, what truly makes us happy, or who we are at our core?
We’ve learned to listen more to the world around us than the voice within. The labels, the titles, the ideas – they’ve become boxes that contain us, not expand us.
Forget the Labels
“The narrative we craft for ourselves can be our greatest strength or our greatest weakness. We must be careful what we choose to believe.”
— Maya Angelou
Far too often, we accept the “box” we’re in. Perhaps it feels safe. We may have spent so much time in it that we can’t imagine anything different. But what if we took this box of hand-me-downs to the recycle bin and decided instead to fill our lives with the things we really want?
This would require us to let go of something.
If it were up to me, I’d let go of Labels.
Common labels many women hear:
“You’re too emotional.” This might make you hide your emotional depth when it’s actually a strength that could guide you and others.
“You’re bossy.” Maybe this led you to doubt your leadership skills or soften your voice to be more “likable.”
- “You’re high-maintenance.” Perhaps this made you feel guilty for wanting care, comfort, or success.
Labels are pervasive. And our minds like them. They are shortcuts to doing the more tedious work of getting to know ourselves and others. However, a few well-chosen labels don’t encompass all the complexities of a human being.
A good friend and therapist recently summed this up: “Labels can be used to describe certain characteristics of a person, but not the person as a whole.”
The danger comes when we over-identify with specific labels or accept them as the whole truth. When we do that, we give away our power.
One of our greatest opportunities is the ability to shape our own mental narrative. Knowing who we are, and choosing to act as the person we want to become, puts control back where it belongs – with us.
Be sure to check out the journal prompts later in the newsletter—they’ll help you identify the labels you’ve taken on, understand where they come from, and begin the journey toward discovering your true self and the person you aspire to become.
The Voices in Your Head
Negative self-talk is sneaky. Little by little, we buy into the idea that the voices in our head are right. They convince us to stay small, to hold back, to avoid opportunities because failure feels scarier than growth. It whispers:
“I’m not qualified enough to apply for that job.”
“I’m too old to try something new.”
“It’s easier if I do things myself vs asking someone else.”
“I’m too overweight to be loved.”
The danger is that this cycle becomes self-fulfilling. As self-doubt grows, the negative thoughts root in even deeper. Our self-esteem drops so low it feels like there’s no point in taking chances or trying something new. Failure seems inevitable.
However, to achieve any success, we must be willing to accept failure along the way. And we must believe we have the strength to learn from these failures, then come back smarter and stronger.
Failure is not the opposite of success. It’s part of the path to success. We know this when we watch kids learn.
A toddler falls hundreds of times before they figure out how to put one foot in front of the other. No one shames them for it, no one is scolding them for not learning fast enough or not knowing better. We cheer them on, encourage them to try again, and celebrate every effort, no matter the outcome.
But when it comes to ourselves, we forget. We see failure as proof we’re not good enough instead of evidence we’re growing.
Growth means falling down, looking a little silly, and trying again. The Japanese say it best: “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
It’s not glamorous, but it’s powerful. Every attempt, every stumble adds to your story and lays the foundation for your next breakthrough.
Redefine You
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
— Maya Angelou
Now that we’ve shone a light on the labels that limit us and the voices that hold us back, it’s time to release them. But we can’t just let them go. We must replace them with the vision of who we want to be in this world.
Choosing empowering stories opens doors. A positive mindset helps us take risks, bounce back from setbacks, and celebrate progress instead of chasing perfection.
Believing in yourself isn’t about one big moment of confidence. It’s about showing up again and again, even when the proof hasn’t arrived yet.
Maya Angelou’s wisdom encapsulates the reality that growth, both personal and professional, is often a slow, steady journey, not a flash of brilliance. The belief that we can accomplish something, even when there’s no immediate evidence that we are “on the right track,” is the foundation of long-term success.
The women who inspire us most didn’t wait until success was guaranteed; they took action. They believed first, acted on that belief, and grew into the women they were meant to be.
And on the days when it doesn’t go perfectly, because there will be those days, offer yourself the grace to keep moving forward. As Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us:
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day.”
So what vision do you have for tomorrow? Be bold, because this isn’t about playing it safe. It’s about playing the long game, the game of life.
Journal Prompts
Take a moment to consider:
What labels have you accepted about yourself?
Which came from others?
Which did you quietly adopt as your own?
Which would you like to take out with the evening trash?
What would you replace those labels with?
Write down the labels you’ve carried and how they’ve shaped your story. Then, ask: Do they still serve you? What new, empowering labels or stories would you rather live by? Write down how that version of you would think, speak, and act.
Remember, growth doesn’t happen overnight. It’s small steps, day after day, that transform us.