Lessons You Can Trust in Your Most Vulnerable Moments

For women going through a divorce or preparing for one.

If you’re here, we know your journey has not been easy. No one gets married planning to get divorced.

Whether you’re just exploring the thought of divorce or are actively planning for it, these courses will guide you step-by-step through the divorce process and empower you to stand up for yourself and fight for what you deserve

Not All Divorces Are Equal.
But with this framework, you can find your best path forward.

enlightened Divorce helps you:
Navigate the technicalities of the divorce process
Understand what it means for you financially
Stay emotionally strong and confident throughout the process and beyond

WHO IS

We are a team of professionals
who have been in the trenches of divorce for decades.

We’ve learned what it takes
to walk through a divorce with confidence, dignity, and grace.

We’ve poured our learnings into these courses
to help as many women as possible divorce successfully.

While every divorce story is unique, we’ve designed this framework as a behind-the-scenes, backstage pass to divorce from the attorneys, financial advisors, and therapists who have been there and seen it all.

You may be approaching divorce with great trepidation even when you know it’s the right thing to do

Fear is understandable.

Just saying the word “divorce” can bring about a flood of competing thoughts and emotions:

“Am I doing the right thing?

Where will I live?

Am I damaging my children?

Can I make it financially or am I going to be poor forever?

Am I a bad person?

Why do I feel so guilty when I know it’s the right thing to do?”

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. The things we say to ourselves can be harsh and out of touch with reality. They take a bad situation and make it worse.

This is why talking about the logistics of divorce is not enough. enlightened Divorce includes help for coping with negative self-talk – both what you can do and how your personal divorce team can support you.

Divorce is hard. This is how you can be ready for the battle to come.

It’s hard because of shared histories, experiences, promises made, promises not kept, and everything else that makes us human.

It’s hard because it requires technical, legal knowledge.

It’s hard because it requires technical, financial knowledge.

It’s hard because something so personal is often on display in a social media-infused bubble for all the world to see.

It’s hard because it pits husband and wife against each other as adversaries through a process designed to escalate tensions and increase conflict rather than diffuse it.

You can approach divorce on your own (or with your recently divorced friend’s support and advice).

Or you can prepare yourself with a program like this and save time and money in the process.

You eliminate fear
by eliminating the unknown.

Follow our step-by-step guides
to “what happens next” in the divorce process.

You’ll find strength and clarity as we guide your mind and heart through the divorce process and beyond
We educate you on how the divorce process works and what you’re entitled to financially so you don’t leave money on the table
We show you how you can save thousands of dollars in legal fees and countless hours of your precious time

Are you scared, grief-stricken, guilt-laden, or angry as heck right now? We get it.

Let’s be clear: we aren’t divorce advocates.
We’re women advocates.

If divorce is the right choice for you, or if it’s been chosen for you, we’re here to help you do it the right way.

This means we aren’t here to “make him pay” or ”take him for all he’s worth.” The divorce process isn’t the place for such things. That said, we are fierce advocates for doing what’s right, for helping you find the courage to stand up and fight for what you deserve!

Coming out stronger on the other side of divorce requires technical expertise in divorce law and financial settlements, and having the emotional wherewithal to do what’s right. The countless horror stories of the “divorce from hell” testify to how much easier said than done this is.

There is no emotional justice in the divorce process. The courts don’t care. So find some people who do.

The divorce process is not easy to understand. It’s not like we’re taught how to unwind our marriages. And the stakes are so high. You have one chance to get this right.

There are ways to walk through the emotions of the divorce season and position yourself for a high-quality life after divorce.

The thought of “fighting it out with my spouse” often leads women to remain in
unhealthy marriages even when they know it isn’t right. Or, they’re convinced they can’t afford to get divorced.

This fear of getting divorced is understandable but unwarranted. Yes, the divorce process can be messy, even ugly at times, but it can also be navigated with dignity, grace, and integrity.

You get to decide who you want to be when this is said and done.

You can walk through divorce with confidence, hope, and your head held high.

Divorce is the end of a dream, but it can also be the beginning of a more beautiful tomorrow. But it doesn’t just happen. You have to make it so.

Meet Your Team

It takes a team to get through the divorce journey. enlightened Divorce is taught by a team of professionals who have dedicated their careers to helping women navigate the turbulent waters of divorce.

Our team includes family law attorneys, financial advisors, and mental health therapists/coaches.

Lynne Day

Lynne Day has been a collaborator with enlightenHer for more than 5 years. Lynne’s law practice focuses on family law supporting married and unmarried parents, collaborative divorce, dissolution, legal separation, and child support matters. As a presenter and counselor, she’s adept at taking the complicated legal side of divorce and making it easy to understand.

Lynne received her B.A. degree from Wittenberg University in 1990 and her J.D. from The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law in 1993.

In her free time, Lynne enjoys traveling and creating special memories for her nieces and nephews.

Jonetta Kapusta-Dorogi

Jonetta Kapusta-Dorogi is a Certified Specialist in Family Relations law and has been a part of enlightenHer as a presenter from the very beginning. Jonetta’s wide range of experiences gives her the perspective and expertise to walk women through complex domestic relations issues. As a mother, she is sensitive to child-related issues at every stage of development.

Jonetta received her B.A. degree from Case Western Reserve University in 1985, and her J.D. from Cleveland Marshall’s School of law in 1989. She also attended the Graduate School of Business at Cleveland State University.

As a devoted sports fan, Jonetta cheers for the Cleveland Browns, Duke Blue Devils, and her kids’ sports teams. She enjoys tennis, golf, piano, gardening, and reading.

Heather Hetchler

Heather Hetchler is a writer, speaker, and certified life coach. She has worked with women navigating divorce for over a decade. She is a presenter and money mentor with enlightenHer where she helps women develop a healthy money mindset through divorce and beyond.

Heather earned a BA in Communications from Miami University and a Master’s in Applied Communication and Methodology from Cleveland State University. She has 22 years of experience in family communications.

Having been through divorce herself over 15 years ago, Heather has a passion for equipping women going through divorce. She resides in Cleveland with her husband, rescue dog, and blended family of eight.

Melana Carbary

Melana Carbary is a private wealth manager with Burning River Advisory Group and a partner to enlightenHer since its inception. Melana is passionate about helping women maintain financial strength and independence no matter what life throws at them. She has extensive understanding and expertise in the unique challenges women face when experiencing a significant life event (divorce, death of spouse, retirement).

Melana is a Certified Financial Planner® and a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM. She believes establishing an emotional connection with clients is just as important as providing exceptional financial advice. The warmth and caring with which she treats her clients is rare amongst financial service professionals.

In her free time, Melana is a certified yoga instructor, enjoys hiking and traveling, and loves being an auntie to her two beautiful nieces.

Ed Vargo

Ed Vargo is the founder of Burning River Advisory Group and enlightenHer. Ed’s mission is to help women gain the confidence needed to take control of their money so they can live their version of a meaningful life. He is a speaker, author, guest podcaster, and private wealth manager who’s passionate about helping women become empowered through money.

Ed is a Certified Financial Planner®, a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM, and holds many other financial designations. For 22+ years, Ed has served as a “personal CFO” to his clients helping them make smart decisions across all areas of their financial lives. This not only saves them money, but it gives them what they want most: more time. More time to spend with the people they love and on the activities that bring meaning and purpose to their lives.

As the father of five daughters, Ed and his wife are raising their girls to be strong, independent, and formidable women. He loves outdoor adventures of all kinds and lives his core belief that people should use their money to make a life, not use their life to make money.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

Divorce 101: The Foundational Lessons

Knowledge is power. You must enter divorce armed with the knowledge, understanding, and confidence to stand your ground and fight for what’s right.

One Big Mistake: Focusing too much on the “divorce process” and not enough on the “person” divorcing.

This program teaches both the legal and financial details of divorce and how to carry yourself through it.

In Divorce 101, You’ll Learn:

How to be at your emotional best
  • Staying strong when things are at their worst
  • Learning ways to find space for restoration and healing
  • Identifying your “non-negotiables”
  • Finding your “people” and construct your divorce team
  • Advocating for yourself and fight for what you deserve
  • Preparing for the psychological tactics your spouse and his attorney may try to use against you in court
  • Playing to your strengths and manage around your weaknesses when in financial and custodial negotiations
The real truth about how divorce works (legally)
  • The difference between a dissolution and litigation and which one is right for you
  • The difference between marital property and separate property
  • What spousal support is and when and how it applies
  • What it means to work with a divorce attorney, how they bill, how to minimize attorney fees
  • How to pick the right attorney for YOU – what to look for and what questions to ask
  • What you can and cannot control during divorce
  • When to start preparing for divorce (it’s sooner than you think)
What divorce means for you financially
  • Gain critical insight into the financial impact of divorce and how to negotiate for a fair settlement
  • Ideas for getting comfortable dealing with finances on your own
  • What financial data and documents you need in order to negotiate from a position of strength
  • Helpful and organized processes for collecting and managing financial documents
  • What fair and equitable divorce math is and what it means to the divorce process

Divorce 201: The Action Phase

Now that you are equipped with the foundation of knowledge and have prepared yourself emotionally, it’s time for action.

This means having the legal and financial knowledge to negotiate an appropriate settlement and the emotional wherewithal to stand up for yourself and not settle for less.

Much easier said than done.

In Divorce 201, You’ll Learn:

How to be formidable
  • Identify your strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities and how to guard against them
  • Practice proper self-care through exercises that support your mental, emotional, and physical health
  • Navigate the relationship changes that come with divorce
  • Speak confidently with family, friends, and others about your divorce and keep your cool during awkward interactions
  • Establish and enforce boundaries
“Talking points” to prepare for important questions
  • How do I tell my spouse I want a divorce?
  • How do I tell my kids we’re getting a divorce? What do I say when they ask: Why?
  • Will we have to move?
  • How do I tell my parents we’re getting a divorce?
  • What do I say to my in-laws when I see them for the first time? Do I initiate contact or let it happen naturally?
The ins and outs of an effective divorce process
  • Your options for ending your marriage and how to determine which one is right for you
  • The relative cost to get divorced as defined by divorce process (i.e., mediation vs litigation)
  • How to work effectively and collaborate with your attorney
  • Steps to MINIMIZE your legal fees
  • How the court views your case (hard truth: they’re not there to protect or advocate for you)
  • Alternative dispute resolution options (i.e., mediation, collaborative divorce)
  • Litigation divorce process including rights and options (i.e., temporary restraining orders, support, property use)
How the court divides assets and reaches resolutions
  • How personal property is divided
  • How real estate and businesses are divided
  • What spousal support is and when and how it applies
  • Who is responsible for healthcare for the kids
  • The difference between marital property and separate property
  • How financial assets and liabilities are divided
  • Division of pensions and Social Security
  • How taxes affect every financial settlement decision
  • What fair and equitable divorce math is and what it means to the divorce process

BUY THE FULL PROGRAM

$247

Not sure if divorce is right for you?
Here’s why we still encourage you to take these courses:

The biggest mistake is to delay learning about how divorce works until you “know, 100%-for-sure” you want a divorce. The decision to divorce is rarely something you come to with conviction the first time around. It happens in fits and starts, steps forward and backward.

One day you’re sure it’s the right thing to do; the next you’ve reconsidered and are staying in the relationship. This happens over and over again, often playing out over months if not years.

One of the more significant consequences of “not knowing” is remaining in a bad marriage because you think you don’t have any other options. Have you ever thought, “I can’t afford to get divorced” or “I’ll be broke forever?” Has someone close to you said, “you’re going to ruin your children if you do this?”

How can you move forward if these are the words swirling in your head?

Above all else, don’t take your spouse’s word for it. People will say anything to get what they want, especially in moments of desperation.

If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you owe it to yourself (and your children) to explore your options. While divorce should be the last option, you should know how it works. Don’t take someone else’s word for it. Find out for yourself.

COURSE CONTENTS

Divorce 101: The Contemplation Stage

MODULE 1 –  MAINTAINING YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH
7 Lessons, 45 Minutes of Video, 14 Downloads

MODULE 2 –  THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT DIVORCE
4 Lessons, 35 Minutes of Video, 6 Downloads

MODULE 3 – THE FINANCIALS
8 Lessons, 24 Minutes of Video, 8 Downloads

Divorce 201: The Planning Stage

Module 1: MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH
4 Lessons, 25 Minutes of Video, 8 Downloads

Module 2: LEGAL – THE NITTY GRITTY OF DIVORCE
4 Lessons, 33 Minutes of Video, 5 Downloads

Module 3: FINANCIAL
7 Lessons, 38 Minutes of Video, 5 Downloads

COURSE DELIVERY

The enlightened Divorce course is delivered by experienced professionals through 

1. A course created for you by experienced professionals

2. Short but powerful videos and course material for each lesson

3. Downloads: Exercises and course documents (that you can print) to help navigate you through every step of the way

FAQs

How long this take to complete? I'm feeling really time-stretched.

This is a normal feeling in divorce. Every minute you can devote to this will be helpful. The modules are clearly labeled to help you get quickly to the topics most important to you. It’s self-paced. And you will always have access.

I'm not sure this is for me. Can I ask a few questions first?
Absolutely. You can email us at _________________________. We strive to respond within 1 business day.
What if this isn't right for me? Is there a money-back guarantee?
If you find this program is not what you need, you can request a full money-back refund within 10 days.
I already have an attorney. Does this information apply to me and my state?
We always advise you to rely on our attorney (and to select one who will fight for you in all the right ways – we cover this in the course). But attorneys don’t cover everything. They aren’t experts in financials or emotions. Our team of financial advisors, legal professionals and counselors that created this program will bring you all the tools you need to stand strong through your divorce.
Is there someone who will work with me directly 1-on-1?

Our team of Money Mentors are focused entirely on supporting women on their financial journey, especially throughout divorce. Look here for more details on our mentors.

Is this private and anonymous? I'm worried my spouse / ex will see this.
Only you will receive the emails for this program and there is no community aspect of this purely due to privacy. If you are concerned about confidentiality. use an email address and credit card for payment that your spouse / ex do not have access to.

Copyright © 2023 – enlightenHer