In September, we made room for no. No to hosting for the third time in a row, or the happy hour that zaps your mood and budget. No to overextending yourself in every direction, leaving you feeling lost.
We cleared space in our schedules and our minds. Now, it’s time to fill that space with intention.
Welcome to December. This is your month of yes.
But not just any yes. With the holidays in full swing, it’s important not to get sucked into the automatic, people-pleasing, “I guess I have time” kind of yes.
This is about your sacred yes – the one that lights you up, leaving you with more energy than you started with.
In other words, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”
Here’s how you say yes without guilt, fear, or shame.
Why Your “Yes” Deserves as Much Power as Your “No”
Saying no isn’t just about protecting your time, it’s about opening the space for what really matters.
Now that you’ve created breathing room, this is the season to ask:
What do I really want to say yes to?
Instead of filling your schedule to the brim with every passing idea, try curating enriching, intentional experiences for yourself.
Doing this requires clarity on your values, visions, dreams. You have to get honest about what you actually want to spend your precious time doing.
Because here’s the thing, your real yeses won’t always shout. They’re often whispers of what you truly want, needing to be coaxed out despite the guilt or fear that may rise with them.
You have to slow down enough to hear them.
We must use the same philosophy behind “the power of no” in order to “embrace your yes”.
It doesn’t have to make sense to everybody else. It doesn’t matter how society tries to tell us to spend our time.
The only thing that matters is that these yeses are honest, and take you to a happier, healthier, more aligned version of yourself.
How to Find Your Real “Yes”
Not every opportunity that crosses your path deserves your energy. Not every invitation is meant for you.
So how do you know what is?
Use this three-step filter to find out:
1. Check Your Body Before You Check Your Calendar
When a request or idea comes your way, pause. Don’t default to your planner — tune into your body first. Your nervous system often knows before your logic does. Trust that.
Does it feel expansive, exciting, like a deep exhale? That’s a yes.
Does it feel heavy, tight, or like you’re already bracing for the cost? That’s a no (even if it looks good on paper).
Are you getting butterflies because you’re excited yet nervous, or are you truly anxious about this experience? It’s important to realize when we’re counting ourselves out of something new because it’s unfamiliar as opposed to knowing deep down that you simply won’t enjoy it.
2. Does This Yes Serve the Life You’re Building — or Distract From It?
Every yes is a trade. You’re trading your time, energy, focus, or connection for something else. Be sure it’s a fair and acceptable exchange.
“There are no perfect solutions–only trade-offs.”
Does it align with your values and the people you want to protect?
Is this a yes to someone else’s agenda, or to your own goals?
Does it involve spending time with the person/people most important to you, or someone else?
Would you feel relieved if this got canceled?
3. Is this a “hell yes”?
You deserve to say yes with your whole self.
A hell yes isn’t always polite or convenient for others. It’s that inner spark that says, this is mine. It might stretch you or make you a little nervous, but it won’t make you shrink. Your yes should expand and energize you.
If you find yourself explaining, defending, or forcing excitement, it’s not a hell yes — it’s a maybe. And too many maybes can quietly drain you.
Your yeses shape your life; protect them fiercely. Offer them only to what lights you up, what moves you forward, what feels true.
If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.
Embrace the trade-offs
If you’re saying hell yes to making more art, you might also be saying hell yes to chipped nail polish and a messy house for a few days.
You can’t do it all, and trying to will only drain the energy you need for what truly matters.
There’s a quote I love that captures this perfectly:
“I’ve seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write… and you know it’s a funny thing about housecleaning… it never comes to an end. Perfect way to stop a woman. A woman must be careful to not allow over-responsibility (or over-respectability) to steal her necessary creative rests, riffs, and raptures. She simply must put her foot down and say no to half of what she believes she ‘should’ be doing.”
— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves
Here’s the truth: every “yes” costs something. When you choose to pour yourself into your art, writing, lifting, or learning, something else will naturally fall out of place.
And that’s okay. The “do it all” mindset often leaves women feeling like they’re always behind, chasing moving goalposts.
But, the reality is that we’re just one person. Letting things slip to make room for what you need – that’s not failure, it’s focus.
Your creativity, curiosity, and joy aren’t indulgences. They are essential parts of who you are. They refill your well and help you show up with more presence and authenticity in every other area of life.
So protect them. Guard them from guilt and from the noise of what you think you should be doing.
Your joy doesn’t need justification. You don’t have to earn rest, play, or inspiration.
Your yes is reason enough.
Don’t Just Say Yes — Claim It
You’ve spent the last few months making space.
You’ve learned to say no, and own it.
Now the real work begins.
Because your yes isn’t just a choice. It’s a declaration.
Every yes you give from this point forward is shaping your future.
It’s telling the world: this is who I am, this is what I value, and this is what I’m building.
So don’t waste it.
Say yes to what stretches you, nourishes you, excites you. Dive into what scares you just enough to mean something.
You don’t owe anyone your overcommitment, and you definitely don’t deserve constant burnout.
But you do owe yourself your most honest YES.
So claim it.
Not later. Not when it’s convenient. Now.
This is your season of saying yes like you mean it.
With Heart,
enlightenHer
Practice: The “Sacred Yes” List
This month, try this grounding reflection:
✦ Write down 5 things you want to say a deep, wholehearted yes to right now.
These could be experiences, relationships, dreams, or even states of being — like presence, rest, or joy.
✦ For each one, ask:
Why does this matter to me?
What would saying yes to this look like in my daily life?
What do I need to say no to in order to fully commit to this yes?
✦ Put these “yeses” somewhere you can see them.
On your phone. On a mirror. In your journal. Let them guide your choices for the rest of the year.