The Power of Saying “No”
If you feel like you’re running in circles lately, you’re not alone.
The list of responsibilities can feel never-ending. Add to it the constant ping … ping … ping from your phone and the mental load from managing it all, and you’re left feeling run down and overextended.
And the worst part? Despite doing it all, you still have that nagging feeling you’re not doing enough. That you are letting someone down. That you’re letting yourself down.
Sound familiar?
We hear this all the time. We meet so many women who carry so much and still feel like they’re not doing enough.
That’s why we’re flipping the script this month.
We’re talking about the power of saying “no.”
Not the kind of no that comes with guilt, hesitation or apologies.
Not the kind of no that makes you second-guess your decision-making.
And not the kind of half-hearted no that no one takes seriously.
We’re talking about the kind of no that is grounded, clear, and unapologetic. The kind of no that honors your time, energy, and priorities. The kind that reclaims your power to choose what really matters to you.
Why This is So Crucial for Women
Women are natural nurturers, caregivers, and do’ers. We have a strong maternal instinct to look out for others, and thank goodness for that. However, being hardwired to do for others has its downsides. Years of being reliable, always saying “yes,” and showing up for everyone can leave you feeling untethered and out of balance.
There are also the sneaky “yes traps” that aren’t on our radar that throw us even further out of balance. The fun things we say yes to, like a dinner invite, free concert tickets or a girls’ spa day when all we really want to do is stay home and enjoy a cup of coffee with no agenda.
It’s Time to Take Our Power Back
Reclaiming our ability to choose starts with one simple word: “No.”
“No, I cannot pick up your kids on Saturday morning.”
“No, I am not skipping my yoga class.”
“No, I can’t join you for dinner this evening.”
When you own your “no,” you reclaim your space. You set boundaries that allow you to show up as your best self without sacrificing your peace, joy or future. By saying “no” to the wrong things, we can say “yes” to the right things.
Brené Brown says it this way: “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
That’s the heart of it.
The truth is, only a few things in life deserve to be at the top of your priority list. Identifying them clearly and protecting them fiercely is the only way they’ll stay there. [see the How to Identify What Truly Matters action steps below]
It sounds simple, but it’s a filter that forces you to put your best energy into what matters most and to let the rest wait its turn.
Because what you really need right now is often simpler than you think.
Not a vacation, a new system, or plans on Friday night.
Just a little breathing room. A little clarity. Some actual rest.
In Order to Rest, You Need to Say No to the Rest
When we talk about rest, we don’t mean active rest, such as running to nail appointments, massages or yoga classes. We mean real, agenda-free, no-place-to-be type of rest.
Instead of racing to check multiple “self-care” activities off your list, consider scheduling real free time instead. We call these “do nothing” days. Proudly mark them in your calendar as such. And stick to them. Trust us, they are amazing.
If it feels uncomfortable to have a goal to “do less” or to put “do nothing” on your calendar, we get it. That’s a big part of the problem. We’ve been trained to think all of our days should be full, even rest days. And we’re afraid that if we aren’t being productive or “actively” resting, then we are being lazy or indulgent.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
You can say no without guilt. You can have “do nothing” days without feeling indulgent. Truly caring for yourself means doing less of the unimportant things to free up space for enthusiastic yeses.
Yes to your well-being and peace of mind
Yes to family and friends spending time with a more present you
Yes to creativity, personal goals, and joy
Yes to “do nothing” days 🙂
Take this month to stop doing and start being.
Being confident and calm. Being exactly who you want to be because you’ve given yourself the time and permission to do so.
Action Steps
How to Identify What Truly Matters
Picture your life as a glass jar. Each day you have to fill it using three components: sand, tiny pebbles, and big rocks.
The sand is the noise – the scrolling, the small talk, the “just one more thing.” The tiny pebbles are the errands, the emails, the favors you say yes to out of habit. And then there are the big rocks: the people you love, the dreams you’re chasing, the values you want your life to reflect.
If you start with the sand and pebbles, the jar fills too quickly and the big rocks don’t fit. But when you place the big rocks in first, then the pebbles, and finally the sand, everything else shifts and settles around them. That’s what protecting what matters most looks like. It’s not about cramming more in, it’s about deciding what goes in first.
So how do you figure out what your “big rocks” are? Try this quick exercise:
Name Your Big Rocks
Write down the 3–5 things in your life that truly matter above all else. These are the things that will still matter to you five years from now.Check Your Energy
Next to each, jot down the activities that make you feel alive, peaceful, or inspired. These are clues to what deserves more of your time.Circle Your Non-Negotiables
Choose the few that you’re unwilling to compromise on. These are the priorities that will guide your “yes” and empower your “no.”
Keep this list where you can see it. On your mirror, in your planner, on a sticky note by your desk. The clearer you are about your big rocks, the easier it becomes to set boundaries that protect them. Every “no” is no longer a loss but a conscious choice to guard the life you actually want to build.